First time in and out of inpatient, really struggling.

2022.01.17 03:51 MuddlingZombies First time in and out of inpatient, really struggling.

Hi, I'm new here. Over the past several months, I've been dealing with a lot mental health wise, from job stress, to family stress, and everything in-betwen. A very long story, which includes a breakup and subsequent and repeated male rejection, hindered performance at work, family trauma, alcohol abuse, and more led me to crack and crumble to the point where I sought inpatient treatment for myself.
I knew I would be going the Monday following New Year's, when I logged into my work computer and realized I was too stuck to even will myself to log in for the day. I had a 1:1 meeting with my boss that afternoon that went very poorly. I was told he was going to recommend my termination due to consistently low performance, even though he knew I was having daily panic attacks and even though I'd had an ADA claim open at the time. I informed him I was not well enough to work, and would either be pursuing inpatient or outpatient services, depending on the recommendation.
I went to crisis services the following day, following a pretty bad spat with my roommate regarding my request for some space. I'm not crazy about having extra company over while I'm working through my stuff. It was recommended that I complete an inpatient program, and it was recommended that I stay for 5 days. Uncomfortable with engaging with my boss any further, I let two of the supervisors on my team know where I was/where I could be reached.
Time in the hospital came and went, as I suppose time in the hospital does. I did a lot of puzzles, read a book, and met some really nice people. I also walked away with three new diagnosis's, including: Treatment Resistant Depression, PTSD, and Alcohol Abuse Disorder. This also came with a near total overhaul of my medication.
I was released on Friday, a day earlier than anticipated. Upon regaining access to my phone, I realized that I had several missed calls and voicemails from an unrecognized number, which turned out to be my boss. I called the number back on my drive home from the hospital, and was terminated from my job not even 5 minutes following my discharge.
Now I feel...stuck? And, not like myself. With my hospitalization came the stark realization that I have been actively dissociating for well over a decade, to the point where I can't even begin to tell you who I am, what I like to do, etc. Being out and being subsequently jobless is super scary. Everything has me on edge, too, from company being over, to noises on the name it. I'm too down to do the basics, and even showering exhausts me.
I guess I need someone to tell me that it gets better. But not in like, a cheesy way.
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2022.01.17 03:51 redditormoth uhhhh

I've already had like six dreams in a week about this game and now I'm refusing to sleep

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2022.01.17 03:51 LopsidedScientist1 Which NCT are shotaro and sungchan part of?

Just what the title says. Are they in any particular unit or are they only going to make an appearance in the whole group NCT 2018, NCT 2020, NCT2021 kind of thing ? I don't really keep up much but they're both pretty young. Are they going to be added to any permanent subunits? Or will they only appear in those (and maybe U?)
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2022.01.17 03:51 Ighavesolong 🏳️‍🌈 Fierce new token | The Queens Coins ($TQC)| Microcap | White Paper | Fees support LGBTQ+ charities | Upcoming Techrate audit | Multiple Utilities confirmed | NFTs

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2022.01.17 03:51 MechaniclZ beyblade burst remakes of awesome original series!

I'm very interested to know 1. The list of all the original made of plastic beyblades that are in fact remade in burst series! And 2. A good place and or places on the internet to buy them with PayPal because I know of beys and bricks and have in fact being using that so far but but I really really really want to get more original generation beyblades that are remade in beyblade burst. I have a few so far from beys and bricks but I want to get more and I'm worried that beys and bricks won't have them all if there are many to get.
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2022.01.17 03:51 StSeanSpicer [EVENT] A Leaden New Year

26 Dey, 1346: A Gendarmerie patrol is ambushed by armed militants while on patrol in Rasht county and three gendarmes are killed. Sazman-e Enqelab-e Hezb-e Tudeh (The Revolutionary Organization of the Tudeh Party), a Maoist militant group, claims credit through their international student wing.
28 Dey-12 Bahman, 1346: Artesh’s Gilan Province Territorial Command deploys over 2,000 troops of the Gendarmerie and Special Forces Brigade to the Rasht area to hunt the perpetrators. After two weeks, the troops kill six militants and capture a further three in their forest hideout, together with a significant supply of automatic weapons almost certainly stolen from the army or obtained from corrupt or sympathizing soldiers.
20 Bahman, 1346: The insurgents are tried in a closed court session by a military tribunal, found guilty of treason, and sentenced to death. Despite the supposedly secret nature of the proceedings, a large crowd of leftist university students gathers outside the military compound. The MPs fire a volley of rubber bullets to disperse the crowd, injuring three (according to the government) or eleven (according to the student union).
2 Esfand, 1346: A militant attempts to assassinate Colonel Sadegh Mahmoudi, (falsely) rumored to be the chief prosecutor for Artesh in the “Rasht incident” case. The assassin puts two bullets in the Colonel’s side before being killed by his bodyguards, but the Colonel survives. No organization claims credit.
30 Esfand, 1346: A Chaharshanbe Suri celebration on the grounds of the Agriculture Ministry in Tehran is bombed, killing three civil servants, two service staff, and injuring seventeen.
1 Favardin, 1347: Nowruz. Leftist-Islamist militant group Sazman-e Mojahedin-e Khalq-e Iran claims credit for the Agriculture Ministry bombing.
19 Favardin, 1347: The Tehran Shahrbani’s counterror unit raids an apartment in the vicinity of Tehran Polytechnic, arresting three bombing suspects. The apartment supposedly is found to contain Marxist literature and bomb-making materials.

The years of 1963-1967 saw steadily escalating leftist guerilla activity in Iran. The reversal of the Shah’s most controversial policies and the halting steps towards full constitutional rule had left most Iranians at least content enough to stay off the streets. Of the key elements of Iran’s ever-volatile urban areas, most had little to gain from overt revolutionary activity. For the bazaaris, the efforts of the Amini ministry to include local businesspeople in the rapidly expanding portfolio of state investments (or, alternately, the increasingly egalitarian distribution of patronage revenue) guaranteed continued prosperity. Despite numerous flaws in its execution, land reform and family planning initiatives had for the moment stemmed the mass flow of labor into the cities, and the preexisting urban labor force was left dissatisfied, but no longer actively attacked by the powers that be.
For the two remaining “usual suspects,” however, stability had yet to arrive. Since the death of Ayatollah Borujerdi, no cleric had quite been able to ascend to a similar position of leadership. Instead of weakening the institution, the fragmentation of authority had instead opened up the scene to new, more radical voices. Chief among them was Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who made his name in the opposition sphere by being among the first to condemn Amini’s interim government for its land reform policies and continued allegiance to the west. While most clerics continue to stay the course, advocating a relatively quietist and conservative interpretation of Shiism, Khomeini and his associates have ventured into a populist, often even leftist interpretation of religion, advocating the fearless pursuit of social justice.
The final volatile element, the student population, remained much as they were. Steadily increasing university enrollment brought more recruits every year for radical organizations dissatisfied with the slow pace of political change and the supposed corruption of the mainstream opposition parties. The most radical groups set about acquiring arms and building connections in the countryside to prepare for the beginning of the “armed struggle to expose the weakness of the liberal-bourgousie state,” as one pamphlet called it.
By 1968, the guerilla movement in Iran had coalesced into a number of distinct ideological groups, each boasting less than a hundred fighters. The most violent organization was the Maoist Sazman-e Enqelab-e Hezb-e Tudeh, centered around a cell in Tehran University led by Gilaki engineering student Safa’i Farahani. On the other hand, the largest organization, Sazman-e Mojahedin-e Khalq-e Iran (The Organization of the Freedom Fighters of the Iranian People, or Islamic Mojahedin), had a decidedly Islamist bent, and drew much of its membership from the religious students. The final major group was Sazman-e Cherik-ha-ye Feda’-ye Khalq-e Iran (The Organization of the Guerrilla Freedom Fighters of the Iranian People, or Marxist Mojahedin), a conventional Marxist-Leninist organization built mostly from younger followers of the Tudeh party. Besides the three major groups, a smattering of regional and offshoot organizations existed, each generally adhering the some combination of Islamism and Communism.
1968 alone saw more guerilla attacks and more guerilla-related deaths than the past five years alone. The key event was the return of foreign oil companies, especially the Americans, to Iran’s oil fields. While the agreement was conducted on favorable terms to the Iranians, its mere existence was perceived as an insult to Iran, fueling student rage against the long-running Amini ministry. The state security organizations proved impotent in the face of the violence. The small number of insurgents posed no existential risk to the state, but the inefficiency of the counterterrorist effort and the clear decay in the law-enforcement establishment eroded confidence in the government. With insurgents seemingly growing like weeds from the country’s educational institutions, many civil servants spent the year learning to look over their shoulders on the way to work.
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2022.01.17 03:51 slow-train The fluffiest boy, the prettiest eyes

The fluffiest boy, the prettiest eyes submitted by slow-train to aww [link] [comments]

2022.01.17 03:51 chapstickneeded Trading ornament set (collectibles)

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2022.01.17 03:51 juggalobilly What was the most wildest thing that happened at your school ?

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2022.01.17 03:51 photoguy8008 Labor department phone?

Hey all, I was wondering is anybody knows the number to the labor department for foreigners. Like if your company won’t give you your docs and such. I know each city has a number.
Does anybody know Shanghai’s?
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2022.01.17 03:51 Siranopk My hopes went way up at the start of that Forza trailer with its huge sweeping desert/jungle shots :/

My hopes went way up at the start of that Forza trailer with its huge sweeping desert/jungle shots :/ submitted by Siranopk to ElderScrolls [link] [comments]

2022.01.17 03:51 CallofDutysVeryOwn What company secrets can you reveal now that you don’t work with that company anymore?

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2022.01.17 03:51 therealelbow “sunday suicide” (peep’s verse from the mackned song reimagined)

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2022.01.17 03:51 OxyOverOxygen my illegal indo cig shipment came wrapped covered in candy like a fucking brick of cocaine

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2022.01.17 03:51 vltzld Joui 4 Artworks I've drawn last year. Which one's your fave?

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2022.01.17 03:51 BlacqueJ [RAM] Crucial Ballistix 32GB (2x16) $89.99 (Back again)

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2022.01.17 03:51 Quantanna Lack of bowlers as captains!

In the last few decades with game becoming more batsmen centric (some might disagree) even captaincy also became a batsmen’s job. Last full time bowling captain I remember is Daniel Vettori. Looking at Pat Cummins captaincy during the Ashes it is obvious he is more level headed than most, be it with bowling changes or taking reviews. He didn’t let him emotions rule his judgment and took decisions calculated. Most of all you need a captain more during fielding (than batting, batting order is most likely already decided in the dressing room with the help department of support staff) where you lack the help of support staff to make fast calls and think quickly. How did we move so far from considering bowlers for captaincy unless three batsmen are missing from action and how Dow we get this back on track? I mean Ashwin should’ve been ahead of K.L for the choice of captain.
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2022.01.17 03:51 ExcitementMajestic60 Am I into him? Is he into me?

So I've (29M) been dating this guy (32M) for two months now. We've been on four dates and he's hung out at my place once. I was a bit apprehensive about him at first because he politically identifies as a centrist (🚩) and I'm very much so a leftist. He even admitted to almost voting for Trump in 2016 (🚩🚩).
On our first date he said some questionable things about trans people (🚩🚩🚩). Mainly that trans people should be upfront about their genitals when dating people and that trans women shouldn't be allowed in women's sports. I'm cis and I really don't care enough about sports to have an opinion, but if trans people want to play sports, they should be able to play sports. He also believes in there being such a thing as "good cops" (🚩🚩🚩🚩).
I'm not entirely sure why I went on a second, third, or fourth date with him, but I think I just liked the attention at first. I even told him after our third date that I was still pretty adamant about just looking for friends, but he ended up growing on me, though, and as I got to know him a bit better, his problematic, misguided viewpoints made a bit more sense given his very conservative upbringing. (For the record, I don't think this is an excuse, per se, but I've found that calling people in and educating them rather than calling them out and ostracizing them creates more allies)
We parted ways during Christmas (we traveled to different states to see family) and he came back with COVID, so we didn't actually physically see each other for almost 3 weeks. When he came back, he was telling me about how he told his family about me and their various reactions. Half his family laughed when he told them I thought he was too conservative. I apparently scored big points with his sister because I'm a scientist and I volunteer with LGBTQ youth. He even said his sister was surprised he was pursuing me because I was "morr feminine" than his usual type. I found this kind of cute, but also a little weird as the only people in my life that know about him are my two gal pals in the group chat.
TW: sexual assault (SA)
On one of our dates I got a little drunk and ended up revealing more about my past relationships than I intended to (he was asking). I told him that my first relationship was with an older man when I was a teenager and that he groomed and sexually abused me. I don't usually tell people about this so early on because, in my experience, they treat me like I'm so fragile that they're too afraid to touch me. The only men who haven't had this reaction are other SA survivors.
So now, I fear that he's walking on eggshells around me. I keep dropping hints that I'm DTF, but he hasn't tried anything. He spent 6 hours on my couch together just cuddling and playing video games. How do I convince him that he's not going to break me by making a move? I've been in this situation before and I found myself in a 6 month long sex-less relationship where we both ended up cheating on each other.
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2022.01.17 03:51 LaikaNFTs Welcome to the fabolous world of Laïka, the only siberian husky you need ! 🐺 NFTs are 100% homemade, and the collection is updated very regularly 🙂 Check it on OpenSea now !

Welcome to the fabolous world of Laïka, the only siberian husky you need ! 🐺 NFTs are 100% homemade, and the collection is updated very regularly 🙂 Check it on OpenSea now ! submitted by LaikaNFTs to NFTCollect [link] [comments]

2022.01.17 03:51 Weg01 I suck at drawing but I wanted to share this

I suck at drawing but I wanted to share this submitted by Weg01 to teenagers [link] [comments]

2022.01.17 03:51 DefiniteOptimist Haven’t received rewards since January 6th. What’s going on?

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2022.01.17 03:51 Joaquito_99 Any way to level up Rexes fast?

So I got my 19 imprinted rexes for the broodmother and I'm leveling one by one by going to kill stuff. It's boring and it takes quite a long time. It'd take me about 40/60 minutes to get one to the level I want, and that's times 19. I'd like to know what to do about this so that the game doesn't become boring
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2022.01.17 03:51 GrownUp2017 [SFX PSU] Cooler Master V850 SFX Gold Full Modular, 850W, 80+ Gold BLACK, ATX Bracket Included ($230-55=$175)

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2022.01.17 03:51 thetiltedtrash WoTC adventures to first time DM

Hey all, I was planning on writing a mini campaign for my friends to play over discord, but with how busy I am I have no clue when I will get a chance to write. I was wanting a darker theme, possibly every a borderline horror campaign (if that even exists). Do you guys have any recommendations for any pre mades to try out? I'm thinking between 6-12 sessions. Thanks in advance.
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2022.01.17 03:51 sharinechlia Choose Your Dream Villager and I will Tell you The Side Effects

Choose Your Dream Villager and I will Tell you The Side Effects submitted by sharinechlia to AnimalCrossing [link] [comments]